... Says actor Manoj Bajpayee about his journey as an actor.There was a time when he'd do a role for a few thousand bucks, he recalls
Since your first movie, you've been tagged a serious actor. How do you react to that?
It really irks me. I take my roles very seriously and I do different kinds of roles, which my directors feel that only I am cut out to do. I don't know how you define serious roles. My character of Bhiku Mhatre was not serious. He evoked laughter. My character in "Zubeida" was not serious. He evoked romance. "Road" evoked suspicion. Yes, I haven't been part of a slapstick film, but that doesn't make me a serious actor. At times, I take it as a compliment. One of my director friends said that this serious actor tag is great because you are the best actor in the country. I would like to grab it with both hands.
But you cannot deny that your roles are not the conventional hero types...
I have done hero roles, but those roles were full of substance, like the ones in "Shool", "Pinjar", or "Zubeida". I never wanted to do the commercial hero roles because I was never convinced with those. After "Satya" I was offered such roles, but I refused them.
But people do those roles...
They do it because they are convinced about it. I was trained to become an actor; I am one today.
So you prefer being an actor and not a star?
My choice was to become a credible actor in this country, and God has gifted me that space.
The actor was recognised around the time "Tamanna" released. Before that, were there any moments of doubt?
I have been working now for 18 years, since 1993. You start questioning yourself and your abilities when you don't get work. So the time of struggle is very difficult, not just for me but for any actor, or any person who becomes a hero. For anybody, it's during the trying time that you need to keep your calm. That is the time when trouble hits you badly and it shakes your confidence. At times, I had my doubts about whether I could be a good actor, since people didn't seem convinced with what I thought I could do.
So at that time, did you consider doing roles that you were not convinced about?
Yes. I had to do a few TV series... just 3-4 episodes for just a thousand bucks per episode, since I didn't have money to eat and those were very bad times. Those moments are unnerving since you are compromising your beliefs for your needs, and hunger was my need at that time.
Did your dreams change at that time?
I thought I'd just manage my bread and butter. I knew I wanted to be a very big actor, but my initial days in Mumbai were not very inspiring and they put doubts in my mind. I did meagre roles so that I could manage my bread and butter. And that's how far I could think. And whenever I looked in the mirror, I thought this is not a face they would welcome in the industry. I was a very practical person. I never had any big ideas about myself. So, I never trained myself to be a hero. And since I've done hardcore theatre, I could never convince myself that I should be singing songs or doing things that I didn't believe in. That requires a very different journey. My journey has not been like that.
When did those trying times end?
After the "Swabhiman" series. It started giving me `2,000 per episode. You could find some money all the time in my wallet. That kind of eased me out a little bit.
So, what kind of needs do you compromise on now?
Needs have no end, and you can't make compromises for them now. But I try to consciously cut down on many things. Like just now, when you came, I was given a Mercedes to move around. I didn't want it. I wanted a simple car. So, consciously you try to cut down by not getting tempted by it.
You don't feel comfortable with status symbols?
I feel comfortable, definitely, but I think Mr Amitabh Bachchan will be more comfortable in a Mercedes than Manoj Bajpayee. Because he has the status of being a very big star. He can afford a Mercedes and I can afford a lesser car than that.
Is there reservation in Bollywood?
Mr Bachchan is from Allahabad and he is the superstar of all superstars. Prakash Jha is from Bihar, I am from Bihar and all of us have work and all of us are fairly well settled.
What are your views on reservation?
You can't have views on reservation. It is a constitutional truth today. The policy is fantastic and is for the upliftment of people who are socially and economically deprived. And they (the government) keep working on this policy all the time. And now, I think they have taken out the creamy layer and that was needed - people who have already benefitted shouldn't be included in this.
Is there reservation in any field that you don't agree with?
There shouldn't be any reservation at the National School of Drama. I was rejected four times by NSD. I wouldn't say it was because of reservation or any kind of quota system. You have talent coming from all over the country and they can't accommodate all of them, so I have a simpler solution - they should have 6-7 NSDs in the country.
Is it difficult to break into Bollywood when you are from a place like Bihar?
Not really. I used to be frustrated about it in my struggling days. When you start looking at the other point of view, you start calming down. How will a director gauge a person's ability by just looking at him? Or just by taking an audition? It's very difficult, but it is all the more important for newcomers to keep working. You never know what will get you the big job. My great moment was when Mahesh Bhatt found me from a series called "Swabhiman". He realised that I was capable of big things and he gave me a role in "Tamanna". And then Ram Gopal Varma saw me in "Tamanna" and "Bandit Queen" and he thought I was capable of being Bhiku Mhatre. That's how I got roles. My advice to all newcomers - keep doing as much as possible.
Who gave you that advice?
My circumstances were my teachers. I was alone, fighting my own battles, and there were a couple of friends of mine, who were also newcomers and we were supporting each other. It's a very lonely city when you don't have a job.
So does a struggler need a mentor?
No, you need someone who believes in you. When you get that person, it is such a relief. The stay in Bombay becomes very, very easy... Oh... the stay in Mumbai.
Since your first movie, you've been tagged a serious actor. How do you react to that?
It really irks me. I take my roles very seriously and I do different kinds of roles, which my directors feel that only I am cut out to do. I don't know how you define serious roles. My character of Bhiku Mhatre was not serious. He evoked laughter. My character in "Zubeida" was not serious. He evoked romance. "Road" evoked suspicion. Yes, I haven't been part of a slapstick film, but that doesn't make me a serious actor. At times, I take it as a compliment. One of my director friends said that this serious actor tag is great because you are the best actor in the country. I would like to grab it with both hands.
But you cannot deny that your roles are not the conventional hero types...
I have done hero roles, but those roles were full of substance, like the ones in "Shool", "Pinjar", or "Zubeida". I never wanted to do the commercial hero roles because I was never convinced with those. After "Satya" I was offered such roles, but I refused them.
But people do those roles...
They do it because they are convinced about it. I was trained to become an actor; I am one today.
So you prefer being an actor and not a star?
My choice was to become a credible actor in this country, and God has gifted me that space.
The actor was recognised around the time "Tamanna" released. Before that, were there any moments of doubt?
I have been working now for 18 years, since 1993. You start questioning yourself and your abilities when you don't get work. So the time of struggle is very difficult, not just for me but for any actor, or any person who becomes a hero. For anybody, it's during the trying time that you need to keep your calm. That is the time when trouble hits you badly and it shakes your confidence. At times, I had my doubts about whether I could be a good actor, since people didn't seem convinced with what I thought I could do.
So at that time, did you consider doing roles that you were not convinced about?
Yes. I had to do a few TV series... just 3-4 episodes for just a thousand bucks per episode, since I didn't have money to eat and those were very bad times. Those moments are unnerving since you are compromising your beliefs for your needs, and hunger was my need at that time.
Did your dreams change at that time?
I thought I'd just manage my bread and butter. I knew I wanted to be a very big actor, but my initial days in Mumbai were not very inspiring and they put doubts in my mind. I did meagre roles so that I could manage my bread and butter. And that's how far I could think. And whenever I looked in the mirror, I thought this is not a face they would welcome in the industry. I was a very practical person. I never had any big ideas about myself. So, I never trained myself to be a hero. And since I've done hardcore theatre, I could never convince myself that I should be singing songs or doing things that I didn't believe in. That requires a very different journey. My journey has not been like that.
When did those trying times end?
After the "Swabhiman" series. It started giving me `2,000 per episode. You could find some money all the time in my wallet. That kind of eased me out a little bit.
So, what kind of needs do you compromise on now?
Needs have no end, and you can't make compromises for them now. But I try to consciously cut down on many things. Like just now, when you came, I was given a Mercedes to move around. I didn't want it. I wanted a simple car. So, consciously you try to cut down by not getting tempted by it.
You don't feel comfortable with status symbols?
I feel comfortable, definitely, but I think Mr Amitabh Bachchan will be more comfortable in a Mercedes than Manoj Bajpayee. Because he has the status of being a very big star. He can afford a Mercedes and I can afford a lesser car than that.
Is there reservation in Bollywood?
Mr Bachchan is from Allahabad and he is the superstar of all superstars. Prakash Jha is from Bihar, I am from Bihar and all of us have work and all of us are fairly well settled.
What are your views on reservation?
You can't have views on reservation. It is a constitutional truth today. The policy is fantastic and is for the upliftment of people who are socially and economically deprived. And they (the government) keep working on this policy all the time. And now, I think they have taken out the creamy layer and that was needed - people who have already benefitted shouldn't be included in this.
Is there reservation in any field that you don't agree with?
There shouldn't be any reservation at the National School of Drama. I was rejected four times by NSD. I wouldn't say it was because of reservation or any kind of quota system. You have talent coming from all over the country and they can't accommodate all of them, so I have a simpler solution - they should have 6-7 NSDs in the country.
Is it difficult to break into Bollywood when you are from a place like Bihar?
Not really. I used to be frustrated about it in my struggling days. When you start looking at the other point of view, you start calming down. How will a director gauge a person's ability by just looking at him? Or just by taking an audition? It's very difficult, but it is all the more important for newcomers to keep working. You never know what will get you the big job. My great moment was when Mahesh Bhatt found me from a series called "Swabhiman". He realised that I was capable of big things and he gave me a role in "Tamanna". And then Ram Gopal Varma saw me in "Tamanna" and "Bandit Queen" and he thought I was capable of being Bhiku Mhatre. That's how I got roles. My advice to all newcomers - keep doing as much as possible.
Who gave you that advice?
My circumstances were my teachers. I was alone, fighting my own battles, and there were a couple of friends of mine, who were also newcomers and we were supporting each other. It's a very lonely city when you don't have a job.
So does a struggler need a mentor?
No, you need someone who believes in you. When you get that person, it is such a relief. The stay in Bombay becomes very, very easy... Oh... the stay in Mumbai.
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